


Waking Up

by kevlarishaught



Category: The 100
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-19 09:08:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kevlarishaught/pseuds/kevlarishaught
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey there! I'd love to hear what you think and if you have suggestions or anything I'd love to hear that too.<br/>Please enjoy!</p><p>(and yeah some of my chapters are pretty short... sorry)</p></blockquote>





	1. Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I'd love to hear what you think and if you have suggestions or anything I'd love to hear that too.  
> Please enjoy!
> 
> (and yeah some of my chapters are pretty short... sorry)

Clarke began to stir, shifting slightly in the bed she was laying in. In her barely conscious state she had minimal recollection of the events leading this particular moment, but Clarke could sense a body besides her own sharing the bed with her. She breathed out an indistinguishable word seeming to begin with an L, or maybe something similar. At one point she moved just enough that her knee slipped out from under the fur blankets and made contact with the air. “Lexa!” Clarke said, sitting up quickly after being thrown the rest of the way into consciousness by the startling cold.  
She looked around and realized she was still at the small trading post. She looked beside her and her heart sank; the girl next to was not the commander, but rather a light haired girl named Niylah. Clarke closed her eyes and sighed deeply, deciding it would be best to leave. She did not feel good about her decision though; this girl had done nothing but help her the whole time. Niylah had lied to bounty hunters, given her food and a place to rest, and helped clean her (somewhat minor) wounds after she was attacked.  
Clarke also was painfully aware that she had initiated the events of the previous evening, leading her to wake up next to this girl. She had done so mainly out of loneliness and out of spite. Lexa, the girl she trusted and perhaps loved, had betrayed her. And knowing very well how Lexa felt about her, Clarke decided to throw it in the commander’s strong, unaffected face. Whether or not Lexa would ever find out that the she had slept with this grounder girl had meant little to Clarke.  
Regardless of these swirling emotions, Clarke got out of the warm bed, escaped the guilt of leaving this girl, who was not Lexa and had done nothing wrong, and got her clothes back on. Once dressed she gathered the few possessions she had and made her way to the door of the trade post. Who knew, maybe if she kept running, someday she would find the girl she had once loved.


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after Lexa swears fealty in 3x03??

The commotion of the last few hours after the ceremony and the news of the assassin was beginning to wear down, for which Lexa was thankful. She had begun to get very distracted. These last few days having Clarke around had been stressful for her on many levels. Speaking to her people, the leaders of the clans and her advisors, was borderline dangerous at this point; she had to hide all of the feelings she had for this girl. Lexa wouldn’t put Clarke at risk by making her affection obvious. She refused to let Clarke meet the same fate as Costia.  
It was also incredibly distracting to have the only person who meant so much to Lexa in Polis at a time like this. Any time Clarke wanted her she had to go. Any time she spoke to Titus she had to defend Clarke. Any time Clarke got mad Lexa spent hours thinking about it. She thought for sure that Clarke would have understood why she had to do what she did at Mount Weather. Then Clarke tried to kill her. Lexa wasn’t even touched by fear; at that moment knowing that this girl hated her that much was worse than the prospect of death.  
She had to admit that she was actually surprised that Clarke had eventually agreed to become the 13th clan and despite hoping for so long that she could learn to trust her again, Lexa wasn’t sure how she actually felt about the agreement she received from Clarke kom Skaikru.  
The weirdest thing was how she felt when Clarke bowed in front of her. This is not how this is supposed to be, thought Lexa. She felt like the moment had frozen. Everyone stood by watching Clarke, who Lexa could see was feeling similarly to herself, bow down to The Commander. Even worse, in Clarke’s mind she was simply bowing to Lexa. As a matter of fact, just before Clarke got up, Lexa was about to cave and tell her to.  
Now, as she closed the door behind Titus, Lexa rested her hand on the door a moment longer than necessary to gather her thoughts. Clarke looked at her curiously before her face hardened and gave Lexa a serious look. Lexa knew that look. She was not entirely ready for this; part of her still got nervous like a 12 year old with her first crush when it came to the young leader of the Sky People. Without her war paint on Lexa felt exposed standing in front of this girl. After all Clarke knew more about her than anyone, whether or not she was aware of it.  
“If you ever betray my people again-”  
“I won’t” Lexa interjected. The look on Clarke’s face was one of slight surprise. Lexa took a deep breath and felt her heart pick up it’s rhythm as she took a moment to prepare herself. She took another step towards the girl in front of her and lowered herself gracefully to her knees, all the while keeping her eyes on Clarke’s. “I swear fealty to you, Clarke kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own, and your people as my people.”  
Neither girl was aware though that just outside the door, peering in through a slight crack, one of the village leaders was watching this whole scene unfold. Hearing this promise, these vows, was a bit of a shock. Wouldn’t everyone else love hearing about this.  
“Lexa…” began Clarke. They were both standing now, and Lexa’s hand was resting in Clarke’s as they looked at each other. “Lexa” Clarke whispered.  
“Clarke I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry” Lexa said quietly. She gently worked her hand free of Clarke’s and moved it up her arm slowly.


	3. Chapter 3

There was a light but stern knock on the door and Clarke’s eyes fluttered open. She saw by the small amount of light streaming in the window that Lexa was walking across the large, open room already mostly dressed. She smiled slightly and began sitting up. “You don’t have to get up, Clarke” said Lexa as she reached the door.   
Clarke couldn’t make out who was it was who had knocked through the small distance Lexa had allowed the door to be opened from the bed on the opposite side of the room. After a short exchange the door was closed and Lexa walked back over and sat on the edge of the bed in a manner Clarke had not yet seen from the commander. “Clarke, one of the clan leaders has requested time to speak with me” Lexa explained. “You can stay here if you’d like. I can bring breakfast when I return.”  
“Is everything okay?”  
Lexa sighed. “Most likely just a standard report. They are required after something like last night with Mount Weather and the assassin.”  
“Okay, Lexa.” Clarke nodded before adding, “Just let me know if there’s a problem.” She took a chance and brushed some of the other girl’s dark hair out of her face and rested her hand on shoulder. Clarke could’ve sworn that Lexa leaned into her hand before placing her own hand over it. Lexa leaned closer to Clarke, but paused a few inches away. She closed her eyes and just as she was about to pull away she felt Clarke’s hand shift and pull her further. Their lips met and Lexa could feel her head spinning. After a moment she remembered that this was a see you later kiss. She pulled back a little and Clarke let out a disappointed sound that made Lexa smile.  
“I’ll see you later.” Clarke felt a twinge of loneliness the second Lexa stood up, but she knew that the commander had a responsibility.

\---

After what Clarke was sure was no more than an hour at most, she heard loud footsteps and the door was flung open and shut quickly. Clarke, who was still laying in the commander’s large bed, looked over and saw Lexa leaning against the door (in very un-Lexa like fashion) with a look on her face like she had seen a ghost. “Lexa what’s wrong?” asked Clarke, beginning to get worried.  
“They’ve requested you as well.” Noticing the look of confusion Lexa explained. “Someone saw us last night. Before we left after the council meeting.” Clarke knew what that meant. She immediately got out of bed and began walking across the room to gather her clothes, but she stopped when she saw Lexa’s face. She looked slightly more relaxed and had regained an air of… liveliness; her face had softened but also had a new kind of sternness to it.  
It was then that Clarke realized that on her way to get her clothes she had forgotten to bring a blanket. She shivered slightly and watched Lexa’s eyes grow darker as she became more aware of her lack of clothes. Clarke had never let anyone look at her like this, watching every part of her, totally exposed. She kept her eyes on Lexa’s and saw her breath become uneven as she got closer. Now that Lexa was only a few feet away Clarke could see how much this was affecting her and she felt her own body start to react. As soon as Lexa was within reaching distance, Clarke reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling the all too strong looking commander into her.   
As their lips met she felt Lexa’s shell begin to fall away. Lexa, being of primal and animalistic training from a young age, made a sound vaguely like a growl, and, damn, if it didn’t turn Clarke on even more. She reached an arm around the commander feeling the leather and fur of her secret lover’s typical attire. Lexa tilted her head more and moved a hand closer to Clarke’s bare chest. Arching herself into Lexa’s grasp, Clarke started thanking her stars that she was on that drop ship a few months ago. That thought reminded her of the current political situation they both stuck in. “Lexa,” breathed Clarke, trying unsuccessfully to pull away from the increasingly heated kiss.  
“What is it?” Despite asking the question, Lexa did not slow down and made no hint of doing so.  
“Lexa,” said Clarke a little louder this time. She stepped away from the girl who had her forgetting that anything was wrong with the world. “We have a meeting to get to. And, incase you hadn’t noticed, I’m still not wearing anything.”


	4. Chapter 4

Lexa, who had chosen to wait for Clarke in the small alcove by the door, was still trying to calm herself down when Clarke walked over fully dressed looking very ready to walk out the door. “Clarke. I am the commander. They will wait for me. For both of us.”  
Clarke, taken aback by the bold statement, looked from Lexa to the door. She pulled open the heavy slab of wood. “We can’t.” Lexa watched the girl walk out of her room and begin to make her way down the hall with an air of confidence even the commander could hardly pull off. She walked quickly to catch up with Clarke.  
“Don’t say anything. Some already aren’t happy with the addition of Skaikru and we don’t need them using this against us.” Clarke responded by keeping her eyes pointed directly down the hall. “Are you listening to me Clarke?”   
“Lexa. What do you want me to say?” She stopped and turned to face the taller girl. “A minute ago you were ready to hop into bed and forget about the meet and now you expect me to hide our relationship -- whatever it is -- from everyone?”  
“It’s not what I want either, however with the Ice Nation beginning a war my people need to trust me. They must look at me with all the respect they always have.”  
“Of course. And they won’t respect you if you’re sleeping with me” Clarke said with mock understanding. Lexa opened her mouth to reply but before she could gather a thought Clarke had begun walking again. She reached out and joined her hand with that of the blonde leader of the Skaikru clan. Clarke allowed this until they reached the room where, evidently, everyone was waiting for them. Lexa felt a pang of guilt when Clarke’s hand slid out of her own, but put it aside knowing that it was necessary, and led the way into the room.  
Clarke looked around, her eyes nearly doubling when she saw the number of people in the room. She reminded herself that all any of them knew was that the two of them talked the night before in an attempt to calm her nerves. It didn’t help.  
She made her way to the empty seat near Lexa’s that was clearly meant for her and sat. Lexa exchanged a glance with Clarke, took a shaky breath and said, “Let’s begin.”

 

After a moment of still silence, everyone began to talk at the same time. Lexa, who was generally very good at maintaining order, found herself ignoring the chatter in favor of watching Clarke. She was only moderately aware of the fact that half the people in the room were calling to her. “Commander! Heda please- Lexa.” Clarke still looked frightened.  
It finally registered that it had grown quiet and Indra was standing in the center of the room. “Isn’t that right, Commander?” she asked expectantly. Clearly Indra read the look on Lexa’s face because she quickly repeated the question. “There must be a satisfying explanation for this?”  
“Of course” replied Lexa. Titus rolled his eyes.  
“Heda,” he said. “It was simply to gain her trust. Was it not?”  
“It was,” replied Lexa, vacantly.  
“Nothing more, right Commander?” Clarke who had, until this point, still been lost in her own mind, suddenly snapped to attention.  
Lexa felt the girl's attention without having to look. Keeping her eyes locked on Titus she responded with a simple, “Yes.” Clarke stared at her.  
Her attention, which remained on the other ambassadors, was stolen by the Broadleaf ambassador. “You are a child-” spat Uzac angrily. “You are liable to make bias decision with Clarke here.” The look on his face made Lexa uneasy; something told her he could become dangerous. Luna stood and walked over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.  
“Uzac is correct, Commander” she began. “You are young. However you have proven to be a trustworthy leader. And,” she turned to look at some of the other accusers, “you have always made the right decision for us. For example, Mount Weather-”  
“Mount Weather?!” exclaimed Clarke, eyes wide.  
Immediately Lexa said, “Does anyone else have concerns they would like to express?”  
At that point everyone else decided to unleash their thoughts on the master. The room exploded in a chorus of “if she distracts you from this war- Azgeda will take advantage of every weakness! Do you not see the severity of our situation?”  
“She will not distract me. She is not a weakness. This situation is my sole priority!” Lexa shouted at the room, jumping out of her chair. When she stood everyone else in the room did, as was customary. She looked at them. These people were getting to her. Their prying into her life, accusing her, the look Clarke was giving her.  
Clarke hesitated a moment, stood, glanced at the others in the room. She turned away from Lexa. Making for the door, nobody noticed Clarke; they were too focused on incriminating the commander of whom they had previously been nothing but loyal.  
“I am done discussing this.” She walked out. By the time she got to the hall she couldn’t tell which way Clarke had gone. Amazingly Lexa only allowed her composure to falter for a brief moment. She left the room behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have fun.... mwahahaha

Clarke was wandering the halls of the huge tower. When she walked out of the meeting she had been furious, but now her head was swirling and she didn’t know what to think. Why did Lexa say that? Was she really nothing to the big, bad commander? Just when she had started to let her guard down, somebody, everybody, decided she was nothing. She didn’t even know which hurt more: what they claimed she was or what Lexa said she wasn’t. A distraction. Or not. A weakness. But not.  
Having been a prisoner only days before, Clarke did not know her way around the tower. She was unable to maintain a stable pace as she wandered through the halls. She repeatedly sped up, only to slow down again. Every time a person came into view, she reversed her direction or turned down a new hallway. Something in her felt like it knew where she was going. But Clarke knew that was a lie. She didn’t even have a room here. The only night she had spent with her freedom had been in Lexa’s massive room.  
After a few minutes Clarke turned down a hallway that seemed familiar, but she wasn’t sure why. She noticed that one door halfway down the hall was partly open. She stopped and peered in. Immediately she knew where she was. Across the room on a balcony, the owner of the room, Commander Lexa, was standing looking out over the grounder capitol. Instinct nearly had her walking into the room. She caught herself, though. God forbid someone saw her near the room. She began to turn away.  
“Clarke.”  
Clarke closed her eyes and sighed. She turned and glared at the Commander. “What is now? You want to tell me we can’t do this? Because I’m done. Want to tell me to leave? I’ll get my people and go right now. I just-” Clarke took a deep breath and blinked tears (that were definitely not because of Lexa) out of her eyes. “I just won’t hear it from you.” Stepping back from the door this time, Clarke intended to walk right out of the tower and continue out of Polis. This whole thing was too much for her to handle anymore.  
“No, Clarke!” Lexa ran to her. “You don’t understand. I had to tell them that. They would never let this go.”  
“I’m not about to lie, Lexa. And the looks I was getting… Well, now you can go tell your people,” there was poison in her tone as she said the words, “that there is nothing to worry about.” Lexa shook her head. Clarke couldn’t leave her now. Not like this. After everything they’d been through and all that Lexa had risked for her.  
“I can’t let you leave.” Clarke’s face transformed from pure anger to disbelief. “No. Clarke. I mean, This- you… It's too much. I need you to stay, Clarke.” This was a new side of Lexa. She never showed emotion like this. But Clarke wasn’t quite buying into it. Clarke looked at her with a nearly frightening look in her eye. Lexa felt herself jerk back quickly, realizing only when she felt her back on the stone wall that Clarke had shoved her and slammed the door.  
Clarke’s body slammed into the commander’s, pinning her even closer to the wall. It took her a moment to fully comprehend Clarke’s lips on her own. But as soon as she did, Lexa began to kiss back. This wasn’t their usual. This wasn’t slow. This wasn’t show me how much you truly care. It was demanding. It was a power play almost. It would be rough. It would be loud. And neither cared.  
Lexa tried to push her tongue into Clarke’s mouth, but the smaller girl bit her. She tore her face away. The two looked into each other’s eyes for a few seconds, breathing deeply. Lexa moved her hands to Clarke’s hips. The second she began to slide them up her sides, Clarke grabbed them, pinning the hands to the wall on either side of the commander’s head. She growled before resuming the kiss.  
Lexa halfheartedly tried to push off the wall. Clarke took the suggestion and turned so she was the one against the wall before walking the two of them across the room. Lexa felt the backs of her knees hit the bed, that she had been sleeping in by herself for far too long. Clarke shoved her again. She landed on her back in the middle of the bed and was immediately straddled by Clarke. Lexa surveyed the girl’s face quickly but thoroughly.  
Clarke leaned down and covered Lexa’s mouth again, biting her lip gently. “Clarke,” said Lexa breathily. She reached up to take off Clarke’s shirt. Soon they were both as good as naked. Clarke leaned down and took one breast in her mouth and the other in her hand. She squeezed hard with her hand, extracting a loud moan from Lexa who was now powerless under Clarke’s control. Her hips raised off the bed slightly and Clarke ground her hips down to keep Lexa flat.  
The sweet torture was becoming a bit too much for the commander. “Please Clarke. I can’t-” She was answered. Clarke slid a hand down between them and circled Lexa while grinding her hips down again. Lexa’s hands shot up and pulled Clarke’s mouth to hers forcefully. Clarke’s eyes shut tightly; her hand was desperate to feel Lexa as was her mouth to taste her. She began to pull away, moving her lips down the girl’s neck. She slid her hands to the other girl’s hips.  
She slid a finger shallowly through Lexa’s wetness and circle her most sensitive spot. Clarke slowly pushed her fingers into Lexa causing the strong woman to throw her head back into the bed and curse under her breath. The fingers made a slow retreat before pulsing back in quickly a few times. “Shit,” Lexa breathed sharply before calling out Clarke’s name. “I’m so clo-” she was cut off by a harsh kiss. Clarke added another digit, pushing in slowly.  
Just as she was about to curl her fingers deep inside her partner, the door flew open and hit the stone wall.  
“Commander!” Bellowed Titus, “what are you doing?!” Bellamy peered over his shoulder in disbelief before turning away.  
Clarke and Lexa, with faces still flushed, looked at the small group standing in their doorway. “I could ask you the same thing,” Clarke answered loudly, with a fantastic scowl back on her face.  
Lexa ran a hand through her hair and casually pulled on a robe, somehow without exposing herself to anyone but Clarke. Clarke grabbed a fur blanket and wrapped it around herself, and joined Lexa.  
“This is exactly what we were afraid of Heda,” Titus was explaining. “Clearly you cannot control yourself around her.”  
“It is not her fault.” The girls looked at each other. Clarke continued. “I started it. This one’s on me.”  
“Don’t you see!” yelled Titus. “That’s even worse. Commander, you know I support you in whatever you choose. But, I’m begging you. We all are. Consider our side. She is a distraction. You admitted it yourself.” Lexa grabbed Clarke’s hand. It was a bold in front of present company.  
Titus rolled his eyes in frustration.  
Bellamy muttered something along the lines of “you’ve got to be kidding me”.  
“Well this is just great.” Abby Griffin pushed her way past the men in front of her. “Is this why you ran off? Without bothering to tell your own mother?”  
“Abby,” said Kane. He put a hand on her shoulder. “Now is not the time for this.”  
“Damn right it’s not!” She brushed him off. “Clarke, we did not join the coalition so that you could run through Polis screwing the Commander! If you’re going to pretend to be our leader, you have to act like it.”  
Lexa felt Clarke shift next to her, and moved her hand to the girl’s back and pulled her slightly closer. This kind of scolding was something Lexa had never seen, being raised by the grounder army. “Titus please leave and take everyone else with you.”  
“But Commander it is important-”  
“I don’t care” Lexa replied sternly. “Whatever it is it can -- and will -- wait.” Titus shook his head and walked out of the room.  
“You can’t be serious. Both of you,” said Abby, “need to grow up. You have to stop acting like a child, Clarke!”  
“Get out!” Lexa shouted.  
When the Clarke’s mom hesitated Raven jumped in and started to pull her out. “Alright time to go.” After getting out of the room, Raven leaned back, gave Clarke a knowing smile, and winked. Before she left, she pulled the door closed behind her.  
Lexa was worried a little by the conversation. Ever since she and Clarke had first spoken, she felt like Clarke was pushing her away. It was strange because she could feel something pulling her to the girl and new Clarke felt it too. Perhaps she was just paranoid. Either way, Lexa was afraid that being scolded by Titus and her mother would snap the connection the two felt for good.  
Clarke walked over to the bed and lifted the pile of clothing from the floor. She separated hers from Lexa’s and started putting them on. “Clarke. That’s it?” Lexa was standing next to her. Close. She turned and looked in Lexa’s eyes and could sense her disappointment. She moved her hand to Lexa’s cheek and kissed her gently.  
“I know we got interrupted. And believe me, I’d love to stay here. But we need to do some damage control.” Lexa knew she was right.  
“We should find Titus.” Clarke nodded.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super short, I know, but I haven't updated in a long time and I don't want anyone thinking I forgot about this! Hopefully the next chapter will be soon!

Outside, in the city surrounding the tower, Octavia was speaking with Indra. After being attacked the warrior no longer trusted the girl from the sky. Regardless, Octavia was desperately trying to renew her teacher’s confidence and convince her to continue fighting those who threatened her people, even though that included Bellamy. At this point Octavia didn’t know who he was anymore anyway.  
She shook these thoughts off and brought herself back to her current conversation. “You can die here, feeling sorry for yourself or you come back with me and get your revenge” Octavia said with a snarl. She shook her head and walked out of the hut into the bustling Polis streets and walked.  
Turning a corner into a small alley she put her head in her hands and leaned against the wall. She knew by now that the only way to make all this go away was to fight many of the people she had grown close to. She knew that she had to stay in Polis but part of her, a very large part, wanted to return to Arkadia to see Lincoln; he was the only one who could comfort her in a time like this. And damn did he comfort her well…  
Octavia allowed her mind to wander, remembering the times she had snuck into the woods to meet him, how the cold night air around her made his hands feel even hotter on her stomach and her back, how his unshaven scruff of a beard felt on her face and thighs, how sweet his voice sounded. But she reminded herself that there was a reason she was here and it was not Lincoln. Octavia was here for Clarke. And Lexa. And Indra. They were the keys to stopping Bellamy and Pike.   
The only problem was, Lexa was tied up in grounder politics in Polis and she and Clarke were a package deal these days. Regardless, if she’s to be honest with herself, Octavia knew exactly what she wanted and had been trying to plan a way to get it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been sooooo long guys I'm sorry. I hope you enjoy!

They looked out the window. The streets were full of people going about their daily business. Clarke had never expected grounders to have such complex lives after witnessing their ferocity in the woods during her first few weeks on the ground, and yet, here was this bustling city full of culture. She made a mental note not to underestimate these people again, and glanced over at Lexa. It had been true when she said that her girlfriend had changed her view of these people. From the moment they had met, she could see the grounders’ humanity. Clarke began thinking through all her people’s interactions with Lexa’s people and she had to admit she almost felt bad. They were just trying to survive, same as us. And during her time on Earth Clarke learned that so much went into the Grounders’ reaction to the Sky People landing.  
Looking at Lexa now gave Clarke a sense of nostalgia to a time she had never experienced. She wondered what the two of them could have been if they were born in a different time. Clarke could almost picture Lexa in jeans and a tshirt. Lexa looked over at Clarke and smiled, thinking a similar thing. “Lexa.” She walked to Clarke and took her in her arms. “Lex, we could leave,” she said wistfully.   
“Where would we go, Clarke?”  
“Doesn’t matter. It would be so easy and we could focus on us.”  
“I love you but you know we can’t.” She was right of course, but Clarke couldn’t stop thinking about it. “Clarke, think about Aden. And everyone else. We don’t know what is going to happen and we owe it to them to stay.”   
While every word was true, it irritated Clarke that Lexa wouldn’t even let herself think about it. There was so much out there and Lexa couldn’t even think about. Clarke loved her dedication and selflessness, but she couldn’t deny that it hurt sometimes to always be second on the list. She loved Lexa for all the reasons it was hard. Clarke tried to remind herself that she would drop everything and run back to Skaikru’s camp. Times like these she almost felt like their relationship was doomed. Clarke could feel tears beginning to well up in her eyes so she pulled away from Lexa and walked toward the door. “I’m gonna go see if I can find Octavia.”

 

Clarke had found a small room in an area tower with little foot traffic to let herself collapse briefly; being strong for everyone all the time was so exhausting. It was time to be herself: an 18 year old girl who had suffered enough in the last few months to last a lifetime. Clarke cried. For her father, for Finn, for Jasper, her mom, Lexa, and herself.   
At some point she must have fallen asleep because she woke up laying on her side on the concrete floor, her eyes slightly sore still. She wasn’t sure how long it had been but judging by the golden light streaming in the window it was now late afternoon. Clarke rubbed the sleep and remaining tears out of her eyes before getting up and making her way out of the tower.  
She wandered around the streets for a while looking at the clothing and other items being sold and trying some of the food. She felt the energy around her, a genuine happiness to be alive and wondered if it might have something to do with being outside so much. Then she spotted Octavia across the market.   
“Octavia! Hey O, how are you?”  
Her friend turned quickly and searched the crowd until she saw Clarke. “Hey it’s been a while. How’s life in the castle?”  
“It’s not a castle,” Clarke glanced at the building over her shoulder. “Really…”  
Octavia looked at her skeptically and replied, “yeah. Sure. Anyway, I’m trying to get Indra back in the game, but she took the defeat pr-”  
“Octavia, I know it’s important but not right now. Have you heard anything from Lincoln or your brother?”  
“HA! As if Bellamy and I even talk anymore. I haven’t heard from Lincoln in a few days, but last time we talked it sounded like things were getting rough back at camp.”  
Clarke shook her head and looked at the tree line which was being lit from behind by the setting sun. “I wish we could get away from all this. It’s just too much sometimes.”  
Octavia stuck her hand out abruptly. “Hi. Have we met? You look like my friend. Her name is Clarke, you know her?”  
“Shut up, O.” She lightly smacked the hand away, resulting in laughter from the other girl. Clarke shook her head and began to turn around.  
“Sorry, I’m sorry! But, hey how’s life with Heda?” Octavia wiggled her eyebrows and Clarke couldn’t help but smile.   
“Oh, Octavia, you have no idea what this one’s been gettin’ into!” Raven, appearing out of nowhere, put her arm over Clarke’s shoulder and laughed. Clarke’s face turned bright red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual I love feedback so hmu with a comment or at @kevlarishaught on tumblr!!


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